battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
