honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
