I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
