Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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