I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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