She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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