Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
