There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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