Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Randomize
