she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
