i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
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If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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