She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
worst night to have a conscience
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
