He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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