I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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