hell yes lets make some ravioli
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
