your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
