he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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