that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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