I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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