Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?

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(513): the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts? http://tfl.nu/aqwb

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(478): View more from Georgia

I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"

(1-478): View more from Georgia

And thats what homeschooling is for

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(478): I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!" (1-478): And thats what homeschooling is for http://tfl.nu/vl1o

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(917): View more from New York City

she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

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(917): she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could. http://tfl.nu/cj4q

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(415): View more from California

i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.

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(415): i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break. http://tfl.nu/4rzb

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(940): View more from Texas

good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom

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(940): good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom http://tfl.nu/suhd

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(212): View more from New York

He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall

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(212): He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall http://tfl.nu/usfu

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.

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(612): Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now. http://tfl.nu/5ad5

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(404): View more from Georgia

Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.

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(404): Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy. http://tfl.nu/vwp7

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(806): View more from Texas

He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.

(1-806): View more from Texas

I feel like you never had a virginity..

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(806): He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to. (1-806): I feel like you never had a virginity.. http://tfl.nu/77ey

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(325): View more from Texas

The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.

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(325): The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her. http://tfl.nu/fi1h

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico

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(201): Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico http://tfl.nu/pgpo

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(229): View more from Georgia

He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...

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(229): He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother... http://tfl.nu/bv7d

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(360): View more from Washington

She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.

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(360): She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone. http://tfl.nu/5hxx

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it

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(774): Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down? (978): I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it http://tfl.nu/io4i

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.

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(787): The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared. http://tfl.nu/3l2w

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