All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
