she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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