One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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