I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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