put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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