he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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