on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
How's work?
Spinning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
