YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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