it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
