I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
