Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
