The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Randomize
