Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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