is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
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