no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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