With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
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Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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