Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
