Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
