we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM