I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love