I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.