Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well douche your snatch and let's go!

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  (919): Well douche your snatch and let's go! http://tfl.nu/3ukm
  Replies (5) Good night (1359) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept

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  (773): I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept http://tfl.nu/49pe
  Replies (10) Good night (461) Bad night (1737) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.

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  (573): I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/5d16
  Replies (31) Good night (1056) Bad night (3746) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.

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  (727): i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/7vie
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So many bounce houses so little time

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  (860): So many bounce houses so little time http://tfl.nu/tcx2
  Replies (6) Good night (3456) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  its Wednesday...

  (315): View more from New York

  they're reeeeeally big trays

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  (315): There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge. (440): its Wednesday... (315): they're reeeeeally big trays http://tfl.nu/bwkn
  Replies (7) Good night (2865) Bad night (851)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring

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  (561): u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring http://tfl.nu/ljb6
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come

  (804): View more from Virginia

  and you stopped teaching...why?

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  (724): You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come (804): and you stopped teaching...why? http://tfl.nu/8fjo
  Replies (5) Good night (2007) Bad night (585)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.

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  (806): Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again. http://tfl.nu/oiv0
  Replies (5) Good night (1160) Bad night (562)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?

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  (774): I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish? http://tfl.nu/4yf1
  Replies (17) Good night (1431) Bad night (512)
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  (213): View more from California

  hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"

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  (213): hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month" http://tfl.nu/hs5s
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.

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  (+44): We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands. http://tfl.nu/fk2d
  Replies (3) Good night (1674) Bad night (299)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester

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  (607): Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester http://tfl.nu/4zys
  Replies (26) Good night (806) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.

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  (734): If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date. http://tfl.nu/hoqh
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!

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  (410): Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way! http://tfl.nu/jf3p
  Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (111) Order T-Shirt

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