I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
