you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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