there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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