There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
