and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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