Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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