We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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