It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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