I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
