There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
