Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
