google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
