I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
