I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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