i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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