Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
