I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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