Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
